After Baby Body

My youngest child just turned a year, yet I still struggle with this new body of mine. 

I had two children very close together and my body never recovered from the first before I was knocked up again. I struggle. Sometimes I hate getting dressed because it seems impossible to find something flattering. I have tree stump legs. My ass was big before, but is in another galaxy now. The stretch marks have at least faded to skin tone, but my stomach still looks like a drunk GPS map. And what is with this fupa that once held my child? I can't figure out if it goes into my pants or above. Most days I just tuck it into my underwear and go about my day. 

My bangs are a little shorter these days.

 

 

That said, the self loathing is getting old these days. The whining about my rolls. The bitching about wearing cotton undies from Target because Victoria's Secret doesn't cover my crack and hides beneath the fupa. The comparing myself to other Mom's who bounced back from their pregnancies. I'm tired of hating myself for the changes in my body.

But you know what? Somehow through the insecurity, sexy time is hotter than ever with the husband. Hotter than pre-kids. I don't know if it's confidence in my marriage or contentment with my body, but I do feel sexier than ever. I feel empowered in what my body can do.


I just need to figure out how to feel hot with my husband AND attractive in the everyday, without privately hating myself. I need to quit whispering lies to myself about what other people might be thinking. I need to quit worrying about what other people think at all when it shouldn't even matter. 


Damnit, I birthed two children and I have a husband who loves me. Screw the rest of the insecurity! 


[But really, if you have a secret to love yourself post-babies, please share.]


xo